March - A dyslexic man walks into a bra

[Jeff Gross]

March Ride Leader Blog
by Jeff Gross

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Last month's pre-ride safety talks:

Feb 16 - Pump Tips

• Put the valve at 12:00 when using a floor pump. Easier to reach and control.
• If the wheel is off the bike, do not hold it â€" lean it against something like your leg.
• I am not fond of the stem retainer washer. It keeps the stem steady when pumping so it does not tear at the base. You only need it when using a frame pump where you are holding the wheel by the stem and straining it back and forth. If the washer is over tight, it can tear the tube, and if it is over loose, it can shake rattle and roll. It does not do anything once the tube is inflated.
• Turn the pump head ¼ turn after you tighten it, so make it seal better.
• Keep some baby powder or cornstarch in a plastic ziplock by your floor pump. When you install a new tube, shake it up in the bag to coat it. The powder will help the new tube move around some in the tire to seat itself.
• You need to be familiar with your pump</li>
  
  
     
  • Does the lever flip up or down to mount? Some go one way, some the other.
  • Which is the Presta setting, and which the Schraeder? I remember the difference between Presta and Schraeder because “Presta” sounds Italian, and a Presta valve looks Euro, while Schraeder sounds like an Indy 500 driver, very American, and a Schraeder valve is like the one on your American car.
  • If you use a CO2 inflator, you have to practice. Yes, that will waste a dollar cartridge, but CO2 can be tricky and I have seen a lot of cyclists waste their only cartridge at the side of the road.

• CO2 vs Frame Pump

   
• How many use CO2? (about half) How many use a frame pump? (half)
• Two CO2 cartridges plus the inflator weigh more than an aluminum frame pump.
• CO2 is fast and easy, but takes practice because you only get as many shots as you can carry.
• A frame pump is reusable and green, but takes time and muscle.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Feb 23 - Flat Repair Demo

On the road, if you run out of tubes, it is a good idea to have some of these temporary pre-glued patches. If you know where the hole is, you do not even need to take the wheel off! Just pull out the tube at that point, stick one of these on, and stuff the tube back into the tire. The glue on these is neither strong nor permanent, so you will want to make a better fix back at the ranch.

If you want to save $4 every time you have a flat, get a patch kit and learn to patch the holes in your tubes. A patch kit will contain sandpaper, glue, and patches.

• First, find the puncture. Duh. Inflate the tire. Inflate it more. Lots more. Balloon size - about 3 times what it would look like on the wheel. That way, the air will shout out of the hole. Easy to find.


• Use the sandpaper to rough the rubber up around the hole where the patch will cover. You need to buff down the little ridges that run around the inner tube so they do not contribute to an air leak. Dan uses a light buff with a bench grinder (I think he also uses a hammer to kill flies).


• Take the glue tube. Use the plastic cap to punch a hole in the end of the glue tube.


• Spread glue around the puncture a little larger than the size of the patch. The patch will not stick unless there is glue under it. Once it is all wet with glue, go away.


• Let the glue dry for five minutes. Here, I prepped out the puncture in this tube and it is dry and tacky.


• The patch has a foil side and a plastic side. Take the foil side off, but do not touch the bare patch with your dirty fingers.


• Position the patch over the hole and press it on. Get the position right the first time, because the patch will stick instantly, and if you want to change it, you need to go back and apply more glue. Press the patch hard, and roll the tube a bit and press some more where you missed. Use some kind of roller if you like.


• Position the patch over the hole and press it on. Get the position right the first time, because the patch will stick instantly, and if you want to change it, you need to go back and apply more glue. Press the patch hard, and roll the tube a bit and press some more where you missed. Use some kind of roller if you like.


• You are done. Go get a cup of coffee with the money you saved.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first says, "Yes, I'm positive."



Cher Twitters:

"FKNG bike riders on PCH! I HATE THEM ! Almost got in accident AGAIN ! Sic of these IDIOTS! Pull in front of u & theres nowhere 2 go!" "Cannot say enough about these Insane fks! Im still shaking ! 8 of them pulled in our lane & there was no place 4 us 2 go! happens constantly"
   - Cher (@cher) September 30, 2012

NOT MOTORCYCLES !!!!!!! Fkng BICYCLES !!!!!!! THEY MAKE GOING ON PCH LIKE PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE!!! WHAT UNIVERSE R THEY IN ! I am SO OOCâ€"
   - Cher (@cher) September 30, 2012

are you crazy ! I almost killedâ€"
   - Cher (@cher) September 30, 2012

In car.Its hard to twt ! Have wonderful Day/Night! Its beautiful here ! Sorry bout “Little Over The Top”Rant re cyclists,BUT omg Urrr! Yuckâ€"
   - Cher (@cher) September 30, 2012

Thanx 4 absolutely 0 !!! I was riding Shot Gun! I would NEVER TWT,TXT,Talk on iPhone! You can kill ppl if u do that !     
   - Cher (@cher) September 30, 2012

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.

The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron.

"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."

When will the housing market be "corrected?"

The housing recovery in California is expected to continue through to 2013, but the market won't be "corrected" until as far off as 2017, according to the California Housing Market Forecast released by the CALIFORNIA ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS.

Making sense of the story

Kimberly and I are seeing a pent-up demand, and a limited housing supply. Investors with cash are crowding out first-time buyers. Multiple offers on budget houses are common.
Homes sales and prices are expected to keep rising, but lower-than-normal inventory levels and underwater mortgages will delay a faster recovery, according to chief economist with the CALIFORNIA ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS®.
Home sales are forecasted to rise 1.3 percent next year. That's a slower growth than that of 2011 to 2012, which was roughly 5 percent.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

Bike lots,
Jeff Gross
jeff@fullcommitment.com

[Paul Nevins]

Good stuff Jeff!